Open letter to all Indians on Independence day

My Dear Indians,

I am glad to congratulate you for your independence from us. As much as we guys love your curry, I think it was a good decision for us to let you go free. I am going to take full credit for 'giving' you democracy, a disciplined military, law and a unified India which didn’t exist before we came into the picture. And yeah, how can we forget cricket? Something to entertain your otherwise dreary moth-ridden lives.

Now that it’s been 59 years, how are you faring? Don’t you miss the days of yore? I say you did ok. Better than the pakis of course. We, here in the Blighty, miss it a lot. We still print newspaper reports where we fondly would like to remember India as we left it, snake charmers, people travelling on roof tops of coal trains, yogis with large beards and little children picking rags. Just watch our history channel, we continually ignore our imperialistic excesses in your country and call the Germans butchers and take a moral high ground.
Ah, you must have grown as a nation by now - corruption free, pollution free with more achievements than just IT from two cities and a bomb. Surely there must be more. You must have made your peace with Pakistan, engaged with China, alleviated poverty, ran services for the citizen's benefit. I hope to God that people still don’t die with every drop of rain. I hope all of you are a bit more sensitive when you see a child picking rags than going to school, I hope you are all 'citizens' now than a me-myself-and-my-family sort.
I think now that its been a long time and you are also turning a bit rich, I think its time we get to know each other. So may be some of our students can intern in your country's large corporations than just visit Varanasi to 'discover' themselves and then get bladdered in Goa. may be we can start watching Bollywood a little more than just watching whatever that comes of Hollywood. May be we look at India as a massive market than just a low cost labour. And may be some of us can recognise that India is right now the third largest foreign investor in the UK!

Sincerely,
Your Brit Master